My fingers tapped against the arm of my seat as I hummed to the music playing through the radio. The one thing I hate about visiting hospitals is the horrible feeling in my gut by seeing all these children on the urge of dying. That’s exactly why I veiled away from my manager on days I have off. He always seemed to think it was a good idea for me to visit these people and just talk them for the day. It was never easy. I’m not the type to deal with death.
My dad died over a year ago from a car accident. It hasn’t been the easiest for my stepmom or my half brother and sister, to move on. Heck, it hasn’t been the easiest for me either, constantly blaming myself for the accident. My mom and the people I work with always tell me it wasn’t my fault since I wasn’t the one driving. But, I was the one who saw it all in front of me. They don’t know exactly what happened that day.
“Justin.” Scooter snapped his fingers in front of my dazing face. I looked over at the open car door and his face in front of me. “We’re here.”
I rolled my eyes unnoticeably before getting out of the car. “Why are we even at a mental hospital Scooter? I’m supposed to talk to some psychopath?”
“They’re not all psychopaths… most of them have been through a lot Justin. You’re the nice guy who wants to just turn their depressed lives upside down.” I watched as he smiled at the cameras and I smiled myself before opening the hospital doors.
Of course this was all for the publicity, making my image good. I knew exactly why he was doing this. It was all because of the outburst I had a few weeks ago on this 10 year old girl. I cursed, threatened, not to mention I was completely drunk and miserable when I did it, and all I had back was all the criticisms that the world had started… things about me being a horrible deceiving person for saying such things to an ‘innocent child.’
“I’m not staying here for too long.” I mentioned as I looked around at the lobby. It was pretty nice and looked a bit on the expensive side. But then again this is a mental institute. These people have got to get paid a lot of spending everyday taking care of crazy/depressed people.
“Hi! It’s so great of you to come, Justin and Mr. Braun.” A doctor here I’m guessing to be exclaimed. I only smirked decently shaking her hand.
I felt a hard smack on my shoulder. “Well Justin here is very committed on visiting hospitals, just helping the need.” He smiled warmly.
“I’m sure. Well thank you again, for coming.” She smiled warmly before grabbing a folder beside the table. Her eyebrows furrowed a little when she looked down at the person. “Hm.”
“If everything ok?” Scooter asked at the sudden frown that formed on the doctor’s face.
She looked up and shook her head innocently. “Well, you’ll be visiting Daphne Morris today. She’s 17. She checked in the hospital about a year ago.” Hm, she’s only a year younger than me. “And uh, well she’s actually a mute.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously.
“A mute?” I questioned with a raise eyebrow.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Her family was killed right in front of her. Their were apparently people who planted bombs all over the house after they robbed it. Everyone died but she survived. She’s never attempted to commit suicide, but she has had outbursts, nightmares, and she hasn’t spoken since the accident. I don’t think any of us have ever actually heard her voice.”
“Listen, how am I exactly going to talk to her if she doesn’t talk?” I asked a little rudely. Scooter punched me on my side casually.
“Well I don’t know. You can maybe try?” She asked with a hopeful smile.
A lady walked beside her, looking to be in the mid 30’s with short brown hair. Goodness, MILF. I instantly smiled at her. “Oh this is Maria. She’s Daphne’s nurse.”
She shook both of our hands. “Oh it’s is a pleasure to meet you.” I said in flirty way to only get another big punch on my side by my manager. I gave him a death glare.
“Here, I’ll take you to her room.” Maria smiled at me and I smiled in return.
“Be nice.” Scooter warned.
I just gave him a look of reassurance before strolling off with Maria down the halls. Once we got to the room I watched as she opened the door gently. It was nice room with carpeting, a couch, and a bed with a lying body on top of it. It looked like a typical hospital room, but I guess you could consider it to be nicer than that.
Maria walked over to the bed where she began shaking the girl sleeping gently. I watched intently at the lifeless body laying on that bed. Her hair was dirty blonde and messy as if she hasn’t showered in years. Her face was pale as well as her lips were light pink. She looked half-dead. It was hard to see someone like this.
She opened her eyes quickly as she began breathing heavily. She didn’t once look over here as Maria helped her sit up. “Daphne, you have a visitor. It’s Justin Bieber. You remember him?” She asked nicely.
Daphne, didn’t even glance here. Maybe she doesn’t believe her? I walked closer towards the bed. “Hi, Daphne, I’m Justin.”
Still, she looked straight ahead as if she couldn’t hear me. She just completely ignored me. I mentally scolded myself for looking like an idiot.
‘I’m sorry,’ Maria mouthed to me apologetically. I just shook my head at her and waved it off. I can see that she had something in her wrist that was bringing fluid into her body. “That’s basically what’s keeping her alive.” She sighed. “We could never get her to eat no matter what we seem to make.”
I observed Daphne and noticed how skinny she was. Of course, not eating has their perks of not having to worry about the weight you’re carrying around.
“Here, I have to go check on this other patient. Just hang here for a while.” She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV hitting the numbers on it which soon went to Spongebob. She gave us both a hopeful glance before walking out of the room.
I sat on the edge of the bed right beside her legs that were tucked under the blanket. I looked over at her, she was laying against the back of the bed as she looked at the TV. I saw her more clearly now. Her eyes were dark shade of brown. She had long eyelashes as well that probably doesn’t even mascara to make them look pretty. Overall, she looked extremely sick and depressed. Like she just saw the most terrible thing in the world just happen…well yeah her family died. But wasn’t that like a year ago? Maybe she’s still scared?
I cleared my throat moving my eyes away from observing her face. Damn, she probably thought I was a creep for staring for literally 3 minutes.
“Uh…well this is going to be awkward.” I said looking at the wall across me. “Well you like Spongebob, huh?” I glanced at the TV seeing him laughing.
Ugh, I hate his laugh.
“I still love watching this show too. Even though you know, I’m 18.” I looked over at her as I began chuckling. Still, she was staring at the TV, expressionless.
“So are you a fan? You know listen to my music?” I asked with a wide smile. She stayed silent. “I guess not…” I mumbled loudly.
I watched her lips slightly part before she gulped lightly as if she was annoyed by my presence. This girl is seriously whacked. She can’t even look at me?
I sighed and brought my hand to my head frustrated a little by her. “The silent treatment, huh? You’re pretty damn good at it.” I bit my lip as I looked at her, waiting for the slightest move.
A roll in the eyes, a glance, an arm motion, or maybe even a physical push to me or to tell me to shut the fuck up… still nothing.
“Look it’s Justin Bieber! Oh wait, I’m right over here and you won’t even look at me.” I hissed sarcastically.
She still sat there. It’s like she was doing this to get me mad, it was working….
“You know anybody would die to be in your position right now, and you can’t even speak? You can’t even look at me? I came here to talk to you…” I trailed off putting my hand on her leg.
She winced dramatically at my touch. I quickly brought my hand away. Jesus, she doesn’t even like being touched.
“Sorry…” I muttered.
What am I even apologizing for? This was harder than I thought it would be. I mean, heck I’ve been through something similar to what she has rather than my entire family dying. This shouldn’t be difficult for her to speak. Right when someone told a patient at a hospital that I came to visit, they instantly move their broken bones just to get a glance of me. She didn’t even hesitate. Heck, she wanted me fucking gone by the way her lips slightly part out calmly.
“You know, I get it.” I managed to speak out fully. “Someone important died right in front of your eyes and you couldn’t do anything to stop it…” I trailed off thinking about the memories of the crash. Everything filling up in my head. “And you keep asking yourself every day, why me? Why was I the one to stay alive and not them?” I asked myself. “Every day, you just blame yourself and wonder what could you have done to change that from happening. Maybe even the slightest thing you could have not done which wouldn’t have—“ I turned to her and I watched her head dropped at the back of the bed and her eyes shut completely.
I laughed a little and shook my head. Awesome for her to fucking fall asleep while I was talking. The door opened and I saw Maria walk in with a tray of food. I gave her a look and before I knew it, I walked out of the door not once looking back.
Stupid bitchh…I try talking to her and she ignores me, makes me feel worthless? I tried helping her. She obviously doesn’t want it. I’m out of this stupid hospital.